Don't fall for his emotional blackmail

Dear Abby: For the last two years I have been going out with a guy I'll call "Ricky." My problem is I don't love him anymore. A few weeks ago I told him I no longer wanted to be with him, and he started crying. He scared me when he said his life was in my hands.

Abby, I want to end it. Ricky suffocates me. He's depressed because his mom works and doesn't have time for him. His dad doesn't live with them, so Ricky feels he has only me to talk to. He wants to marry me, and I don't want to lie and say I will. It disturbs me that he still wants to be together even though he knows I'm not happy with him. -- Troubled

Dear Troubled: I'm sure the news that you wanted to break up was painful for Ricky to hear -- hence the tears -- but saying his life is in your hands was a form of emotional blackmail. For your sake, please don't fall for it.

Ricky appears to be needy and immature. Call his mother, tell her that you are ending the relationship and that he isn't taking it well. She's in a better position to see he gets emotional and psychological support than you are.

Dear Abby: My best friend, "Heather," is trying to trick her husband into having another child. They already have one, but he doesn't think they can handle two.

They have been fighting about this, and it has created problems in their marriage. Heather confided to me recently that she is going to stop using birth control "just to see what will happen," and I'm pretty sure she's not going to tell her husband first.

I wish I didn't know. But now that I do, I'm not sure where my responsibilities lie. Should I tell him, or keep my mouth shut and act surprised when Heather gets pregnant? -- Knows Too Much

Dear Knows Too Much: This is your best friend. You should tell Heather that she's making a serious mistake. What she is doing is dishonest, underhanded, and could be the final straw that breaks her marriage apart. And yes, you should tip him off. If it isn't already too late, he may want to take precautions.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Dear Abby