The skies aren't that friendly, but we'll just see how it goes

My favorite definition of flying in an airliner goes like this: hours of sheer boredom interrupted only by moments of stark terror.

Needless to say, I try to travel by airplane as rarely as possible.

Many years ago, when we used to vacation in Europe every couple of years or so I used to fly more often, and even sort of enjoyed it.

Now, though, the last time my wife and I took to the air was in October of 2001 - a short enough time after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11 that the airlines and the transportation security people hadn't fully figured out yet how they could work in tandem to make flying an absolutely miserable experience for the passengers. They've come a long way since then.

Yes, the initial attempts at security were such that I had a cuticle pick confiscated from a small nail care kit so that I wouldn't use it to stab the airplane crew and take over the plane.

Of course it mattered not that the point on that pick had about the same amount of practical utility as a weapon as a Q-Tip.

As flying has become more and more of a hassle and the airlines' attempt to nickel and dime you to death more and more of a nuisance as well as an insult (Can't these guys set a ticket price that includes a lousy meal for free instead of a lousy meal for several dollars?), flying has all the appeal of an overnight bus trip.

Actually, airplane travel has even less appeal than the bus, because it's not all that likely that the bus will have to sit and wait to leave for several hours while not allowing the passengers off the vehicle.

So on the rare occasion we've gone anywhere in recent years, we've loaded up the Explorer - which is big, comfortable and can hold all the luggage we've want - and gone tooling across the country.

And we were all set to do that again on an upcoming trip we have planned to visit friends out of state.

But then we began to look at the round trip distance - more than 1,400 miles - and the short number of days we actually had for this vacation.

So, very reluctantly, we decided to fly.

Not having the faintest idea how to deal with the e-ticket or whatever it's called, I phone my Rotary buddy and ace travel agent Sue Wehrli and told her when and where we were going and asked her to find the airline with the least likelihood of going out of business before our trip.

Sue came through like the champ she is, and also patiently explained to me how to use this receipt to actually get to fly to our destination and back again.

For us, this is the first time we have a plane ticket that doesn't come in several parts and fit into an envelope.

Now, the challenge is to pack everything in the small amount of luggage the airline allows - unless we want to pay extra to take another bag.

As I looked over the rules, regulations and list of extra charges from the airline for flying these days, I think it's going to be back to the motor vehicle next time. Or maybe that overnight bus.

Contact Tim West at west@scn1.com or 630-416-5290.