Comedy helps cope with tragedy

Harry Eigenberg died. He's better known to many as Bev's husband or David ("Sex in the City") Eigenberg's dad. I met Harry nine years ago, when my son was at Creative Nursery school. He was known as Mr. Harry to the kids. His wife was and still is Miss Bev there. My 5-year-old is at Creative now. He never met Mr. Harry.

Harry Eigenberg had Alzheimer's disease.

The funeral home reminded me of how empty my family tree has become. What was once a family consisting of my maternal grandparents, parents, and my brother and me is now reduced to just my brother and me. I don't care how good a poker player you are, how good you can bluff, a full house beats a pair every time. A few months ago, my brother found out he has thyroid cancer. Suddenly the walls at Harry's wake closed in on me. I looked at Harry's wooden casket and thought of my brother's illness, my mom's and dad's funerals, and an uncle in Ohio and cousin in Florida who both have health problems.

The room that was full of familiar faces started to spin. Somehow I couldn't remember anyone's name. I said, "Hi Ken!" to Ray Kinney. A woman gave me a hug; I couldn't pick her out of a police lineup if you asked me to. So I did what I do best. I shut out the real world. It was "show time."

My mind raced. Find the funny. I spotted a man whose beard was thicker and grayer than mine, his hair was longer and his stomach was bigger. I turned to some friends standing in line with me and whispered, "He and I could do a revival of 'Fiddler on the Roof!' He could be Tevye and I could be Mini-Tevye!" Cue the rim shot, they're laughing! Find the funny ...

When I was 5, my father had a massive heart attack. We were told he had the night to live. The pain and fear were unbearable, and from that tragedy came my comedy. Find the funny to cover the tears ... always.

My grandmother died of Alzheimer's when my daughter was a baby. Alzheimer's is a cruel, heartless and heart-breaking disease. The last time I saw my grandmother alive she asked me the same question over and over. "What did you name your baby?" she'd smile. And each time I held back tears as I answered, "We named her Mary, after you!" I was a wreck at our house after Grandma's wake, but I'm Cousin Dave, the comedian: Make 'em laugh, find the funny.

So I came up with a Steven Wright-like Alzheimer's joke. "I was asked to do a half-hour of comedy for a group of Alzheimer patients. I did the same joke 137 times. It killed every time." Big laughs! Thanks for coming! I'll be in town all week. There's cold cuts and antipasto in the kitchen.

I hate that damn joke, because there's nothing funny about Alzheimer's.

Harry Eigenberg's wake was packed with family and friends Harry had loved until the disease turned them into complete strangers. I saw David Eigenberg glance at his father's coffin and I was five again. Find the funny. "My great aunt never misses a wake. She gets there early to get a good seat. And then she comments about the corpse, "She looks good" or "Doesn't she look just like she's sleeping?" And I say, "I don't know about you, but I usually breathe a little when I sleep."

I'm so darn funny, it hurts sometimes.

Reach Dave Sinker, a longtime Naperville resident and owner of the Comedy Shrine in downtown Naperville, at davidsinker@yahoo.com.