Freedom comes with flu
R ight now I have three jobs in three different places. Well, four, if you count this column. I also have three children. Two of my children are in "The Nutcracker" this year, which involves multiple rehearsals, meals on the run, plenty of time in the car, lots of sewing, cajoling and consoling.
My middle child is in cross country, jazz band, plays piano, guitar, french horn and almost anything else he can get his hands on.
My husband is busy teaching during the day and conducting an orchestra at night. What's more, we have visitors staying for the weekend.
So, all in all, life is a nonstop, three-ring circus. Given all of these challenges, Murphy's Law dictates that, of course, right now is the perfect time to contract swine flu!
I read all the missives from John Harper, our esteemed superintendent of the Plainfield School District. I followed to the letter the guidelines from Dr. George Koburov from Edward Hospital. I spent a small fortune on hand sanitizer, taught my children correct respiratory etiquette, took my supplements, vitamins and yoga classes, and yet despite all precautions taken, I still find myself in solitary confinement in my basement.
Koburov said, "A person's behavior and demeanor should remain consistent with other times they have been ill."
Easy for you to say, Doc! Other times I have been ill, being a wife and mother, nothing has changed. My behavior and demeanor have remained constant because moms don't have time to feel poorly.
However, thanks to the mass hysteria surrounding H1N1, all that has changed this time.
Of all the things I wanted to be when I grew up, trust me, a pariah wasn't one of them. But come to think of it, despite the stomach wrenching, the fever, the cough and the shakes, I am, somewhat perversely, I admit, quite enjoying myself.
It has been a long time since having a room to myself. It has been years since I controlled the TV remote for longer than five minutes.
It has been an age since I last spent all day watching terrible, made-for-TV movies without interruption or complaint. I could get used to this!
No one wants me to make their dinner or pack their lunches. No one wants me to drive them anywhere. No one wants a sleepover. No one wants to share my chocolate.
In fact, no one wants to be within 10 miles of me.
The only thing looming is the deadline for this column, which, for the first time in months, thanks to the swine flu, I have met without obstacle!
OK, so the lining on this rather heavy, black cloud is more stainless steel than silver. But being a glass half-full kind of gal, I'll take it.
E-mail Jemima Jarvis at jemimajarvis@hotmail.com
