Customer Service

Select students in Lincoln-Way program listen to others going through difficult times

When she was a freshman, Jenna Kasik was chosen by her peers to help them.

  She has listened to teens talk about their problems, including helping a friend who thought suicide was the only way out.

  "It's always good to talk no matter what — that's what I have learned," said Jenna, 17, a senior at Lincoln-Way Central High School.

  She is a peer helper and part of the Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program that provides awareness and access for students in time of crisis.

  During school registration, peer helpers, like Jenna, volunteer their time and give out the Yellow Ribbon cards to students, and an information sheet to parents at Lincoln-Way Central and Lincoln-Way East high schools.

  The card says: "This ribbon is a lifeline. It carries the message that there are those who care and will help! If you are in need and don't know how to ask for help, take this card to a counselor, teacher, clergy, parent or friend and say: 'I need to use my Yellow Ribbon.'"

  On the other side of the card it says: "This card is a cry for help! Stay with the person — you are their lifeline! Listen, really listen. Take them seriously! Get or call help immediately. Call 1-800-999-9999 or 1-800-784-2433 — 24 hours a day — toll free."

  "Sometimes kids can't verbalize — this helps them. They are hurting, and sometimes they don't know how to express themselves. They know they are really depressed and really down, and they want to go to someone to help them," said Randy Pavlik, director of public personnel services at Lincoln-Way Central High School.

Peer helpers

  Each year, a new freshman class is asked to pick out students they would want to go to for help. Jenna was one of 18 students chosen in her Class of 2002 to help her peers.

  Once a year, Jenna and other peer helpers go on a weekend retreat to learn how to help their classmates.

  Sophomores teach freshmen listening skills and when they should go to an adult for help. They stress the rule of confidentiality. The juniors and seniors work on their listening skills and talk about the ups and downs of being a peer helper.

  "I learned different listening skills and how to adjust to different situations. How to connect to people and understand what they are talking about and try to be empathetic," Jenna said.

  "It has changed my life ... helping other people and helping my friend," she said.

  To remind their classmates who they are, helpers wear their peer helper T-shirts and yellow ribbon once a month.

  "We tell students it's their job to be our eyes and ears and help other kids out. My feeling is if one kid uses (the card) and it saves (his) life, it's well worth it," Pavlik said.

  The idea of bringing the Yellow Ribbon Program to the school came from a group of five girls who approached the school board four years ago after they found the program on the Internet.

  "I'm really proud of the kids. It is something that students started. They tell the kids, 'It didn't come from administration. It came from us,'" Pavlik said. "I can't tell you that every kid will buy into it, and if a few do, it's worth it."

Program helpful

  The program does help, Jenna said. She has helped a friend who was thinking about killing himself.

  "He was depressed. His family was going through a divorce, and it was really hard. His dad was abusive to his mom and family. It was really hard," Jenna said. "You are feeling sorry for your parents. When you lose a father even though he was being abusive, you don't know how to deal with the emotions."

  He thought it was his fault, and Jenna helped by being there.

  "I helped him realize that things like that happen, and you have to deal with it, and there are positive ways to deal with it," Jenna said.

  "I spent a good portion of my time with that person. I put everything aside. I helped him feel better and get through this. Nobody can do it alone. Even us peer helpers can't do it alone," Jenna said.

  "I take their mind off the situation. We talked about it when he needed to. We went out and had fun. We hung out with other people and let him know that we care and we are there for him," she said.

  But Jenna does know when she has to get help from counselors like Pavlik.

  "It didn't get to the point where I was scared. We are told to go to an upper source. It was light depression," she said.

Taking statements seriously

  But it isn't always easy.

  "A lot of people take it lightly. They will say, 'I failed my test. I want to kill myself,' joking around. As peer helpers, we need to think twice about it. It may be a cry for help. It may not be serious ... we have to look beyond what people are saying," Jenna said.

  "Most people I've noticed from being around different groups don't deal with problems. They just shove them aside, and another group turns to alcohol and drugs — that's nowhere to start," she said. "We are 16 and 17 and doing that — what are we going to do when we are older? That's starting out on the wrong foot, and there are other ways to deal with stress."

  Jenna said some depressed teens aren't taken seriously by adults.

  You hear, 'You are only 17. You'll be fine,'" she said.

  "I think every parent should be aware of the signs of depression and suicide. Most of them say, 'No, my kid wouldn't do that.' But you never know how heavy the weight is," she said.