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Memorial fund: Pays for play, parent talk, suicide prevention

PLAINFIELD — It wasn't an ordinary school play.

  They drank. They did drugs. They had sex. And someone even died.

  "I never got drunk and cheated on my girlfriend," lied actor Sammy Publes' character.

  "I never made out with someone on the roof of the auditorium," said actress Donna Elyashar's character, with a slur.

  "What is it with you and school property?" Publes asked.

  "Higher education — OK!" Elyashar said in a Valley Girl tone.

  Students roared with laughter, but a minute later there wasn't one giggle in the audience at Plainfield South High School when a girl in the play told her story about getting drunk and raped.

  "I woke up at 9 a.m. I was naked in bed, and something was different. Something had happened with Hilfiger man. It was the worst feeling in the world until I went back to school and everyone called me a ho. .... Then, waiting three months for the AIDS test ... I can tell you one thing, I won't be drinking tequila soon," said actress Christin McAllister's character.

  At the end of the play, the actors got on a make-believe treadmill rattling off all the pressures teens go through: school, sex, suicide, tests, parents, drugs, gangs, alcohol, incest, bulimia.
 
  Then, they pointed to social worker Cheryl Ricciardi, who stood near the stage, and told students to go to her for help.

  "Hope you all have a great year, and don't choose silence," Publes said.

  The actors from HealthWorks Theatre Company of Chicago presented Silence.com to the freshman class, urging young people to communicate and seek nonviolent solutions and alternatives.

  That's something youth don't know how to do, Ricciardi said. That's why she wanted the students to see the play.

  "We wanted them to see there are options and places to go to get help, and there is always hope, Ricciardi said.

  Money from Mat Wilfinger's Memorial Fund was used to bring the play to all freshmen at Plainfield South High School. Wilfinger, 17, a senior at Plainfield High School, died by suicide on Valentine's Day in 2001 in his Naperville home.

  The money was also used to bring in Dr. Jeffrey Van Meter, psychologist in Plainfield and Lisle. He talked to parents about the stresses today's students have.

  "Parents need to understand being a teen-ager is a lot different than when we were teen-agers," Ricciardi said.

Yellow Ribbon program

  Both Plainfield high schools also will use the money to start the Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program. Students are given a yellow card to carry around until they need help. When they do, they can hand the card over to an adult, teacher, counselor or anyone they trust.

  On one side of the card is a message that says the student needs help and needs to use the yellow ribbon. On the other side is a 24-hour, toll-free number, (800) SUICIDE.

  Social worker Josh Bloodgood at Plainfield South likes the idea of the card because sometimes students have a difficult time saying they need help.

Support groups

  To help teens deal with stress, Ricciardi holds support groups, focusing on problems they are dealing with, such as coping skills, grief, anger management and divorce.

  She asks them to come up with ideas to deal with pain and stress.

  They have no problem coming up with unhealthy coping skills, such as overeating, smoking, drinking, taking drugs and hurting oneself.

  "A lot of times when kids are having a difficult time coping ... substance abuse comes into the picture to cope with what they are dealing with," Ricciardi said.

  "When you ask them to shift gears and come up with healthy things they can do to help you feel better and not harm yourself, they can't," she said. "It is still surprising to me that kids see few options."

  Ricciardi helps them get started with some ideas like talking to a friend. Then, the students can come up with a long list of stress-free busters, including drawing, pets, ice cream, baths, friends, naps, exercising, waking and biking.

  Plainfield High School has a committee deciding how to use Mat Wilfinger's Memorial Fund and envisions it will be used to bring programs that will be added onto the current curriculum, said George Schlott, assistant principal for student services.

  Schlott said Plainfield High School still has some students who knew the boys who died by suicide this year and last year. Those students are receiving counseling.

  Ricciardi and Schlott were both disappointed that only 20 parents showed up to listen to Dr. Van Meter talk about teen stress.

  "You have to wonder if parents are concerned as we are concerned about this stuff, but you still have to make the effort and provide the information," he said.