Mom knows value of autism support group

One in 150 children has autism, and Debi Lockwood's son Nathan is one of them.

"Before Nathan was diagnosed, I lived in agony, just agony," said Lockwood, a Plainfield mom. "Not only was I dealing with the tantrums which were stressful, but my son not wanting to be touched, not wanting to be cuddled and dealing with my sons reaction when I tried was painful. He was very stressed out, he didn't understand, he didn't want to be around people. It scared him. He would run and hide."

Nathan was diagnosed at 2½, though Lockwood admits that the signs started much earlier than that. "At around 15 months, Nathan lost all of his language skills," said Lockwood. "He shut down and reverted into himself. He didn't want to be touched, talked to, played with, and if you did he had screaming tantrums and meltdowns. I kept thinking it was a phase, that he would find his words again, he would wave bye bye again, blow kisses again ... but it kept getting worse."

Lockwood said that Nathan started hitting, biting, and kicking. Whoever was close to him got it. "Most of time it was his older brother Cameron."

Lockwood said it was especially hard on Cameron, who was just a year older. "He just wanted to be close to his brother, to love him. I was dealing with his stress, my stress, not knowing what was going on and, even worse, a reluctant pediatrician who didn't think that anything was wrong."

Lockwood said that at Nathan's two-year checkup she had a list of concerns, like that he wasn't taking that much. "The pediatrician dismissed it. He didn't think it was a big deal; Nathan was the second child and sometimes that happens with the second child. He thought autism was over-diagnosed. I had to beg him for a referral."

At the time of the diagnosis, the Lockwoods lived in another town and Lockwood was regularly taking Nathan to a play group there. And while he didn't fully interact with the other kids and sometimes would have meltdowns, Lockwood needed and depended on the support of the other moms, support that she hoped would get her through the tougher times. But, when Lockwood called the other moms to tell them about the diagnosis, their calls and the play dates stopped. Lockwood was devastated. But she soon found what she really needed, and that was a support group for parents with autistic children.

"I found tremendous relief from this group. It helped me tremendously ... just to hear other people talk about their struggles, opinions, ideas and suggestions ... it was the greatest" resource.

"When we moved to Plainfield a year ago and I couldn't find a support group here, I knew I had to start one," said Lockwood. And she did.

In February, Lockwood founded the Plainfield Autism Awareness & Support System, which meets at 7 p.m. the first Friday of the month at various locations. There are already 13 families from Plainfield and surrounding areas.

"Some of the children are high-functioning and some are low-functioning," said Lockwood. "Some are newly diagnosed and some have been diagnosed for years. No matter where the parents are on their "autism journey," everyone has something to contribute to the group. They are a great group of caring, strong, and capable people who are great advocates for their children."

Lockwood said that the group is casual, talking about everything from early intervention and preschool to entering grades anywhere from kindergarten to high school. They talk about potty training, siblings and even marriage. "The group is open to everyone -- a parent, a grandparent, or anyone else with autism in their life."

Nathan is 5 now, he is in preschool and doing well academically. Lockwood says that he is extremely bright and has been reading since 3. His real work comes with social skills. "He is being instructed about tolerating other kids playing near him or with him a little more," said Lockwood, "but he still needs redirection and a lot of OT (occupational therapy) support."

To find out more about the Plainfield Awareness & Support System, e-mail Lockwood at lock82998@ comcast.net.

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Jean Dunning writes about kid friendly activities. E-mail her at storiesbyjd@sbcglobal.net.