Dear Abby advice for life Best birthday present is to grow older every year
Dear Abby: "49 and Holding" (Dec. 5), who doesn't want her daughter to give her a 50th birthday party, needs to grow up and learn to celebrate life instead of hiding from the fact that she's growing older. She is aging because she's alive -- and what a blessing that is.

Best birthday present? Celebrating another one
Dear Abby: "49 and Holding" (Dec. 5), who doesn't want her daughter to give her a 50th birthday party, needs to grow up and learn to celebrate life instead of hiding from the fact that she's growing older. She is aging because she's alive -- and what a blessing that is.

Dear Abby advice for life Story of long-ago abuse causes family new pain
Dear Abby: My parents divorced when I was 6, and my father remarried when I was 8. My father got custody of my brother and me. A year later my half-sister was born, and that's when my stepmother began physically and mentally abusing me.

Story of long-ago abuse revives pain for family
Dear Abby: My parents divorced when I was 6, and my father remarried when I was 8. My father got custody of my brother and me. A year later, my half-sister was born and that's when my stepmother began physically and mentally abusing me.

Dear Abby advice for life Dad misses kisses he once shared with his young sons
Dear Abby: When my three sons were small, I used to kiss them on the lips as a sign of affection. Now they are 13, 11 and 8, and it has been several years since I have done it. With the youngest, I can still get away with an occasional peck on the cheek -- but not my older boys.

Dad missing signs of affection he once shared with young sons
Dear Abby: When my three sons were small, I used to kiss them on the lips as a sign of affection. Now they are 13, 11 and 8, and it has been several years since I have done it. With the youngest, I can still get away with an occasional peck on the cheek -- but not my older boys.

Dear Abby advice for life Teen reluctant to disappoint mom with a change of plan
Dear Abby: I am a 16-year-old girl who is starting to seriously consider colleges and plan for the future. I found an amazing school close to home that I'd love to attend -- but there's a problem.

Dear Abby advice for life Trip down memory lane turns into a bumpy ride
D ear Abby: Our oldest daughter is being married soon. When we pulled out our wedding album to show her our pictures, my mother-in-law, "Edith," started laughing and said she hoped our daughter's wedding would be better than ours was. Then she said our wedding had been "an embarrassment," and she wished she hadn't invited any of her friends to it!

Dear Abby advice for life Different school may not help the child
Dear Abby: You missed an important clue in the letter from "Must Choose in Maryland" (Nov. 30), who is considering moving to improve her daughter's school life. Abby, the child is only 7. She has been in public school for three years, so the private school where she "flourished" was preschool.

Moving may not aid child
Dear Abby: You missed an important clue in the letter from "Must Choose in Maryland" (Nov. 30), who is considering moving to improve her daughter's school life. Abby, the child is only 7. She has been in public school for three years, so the private school where she "flourished" was PRESCHOOL.

Dear Abby advice for life Wife wants to leave husband but remain part of his family
Dear Abby: My husband, "Harry," and I had a good marriage for 25 years, but we have grown apart and have agreed to divorce when our child finishes college. We just don't have a lot in common anymore. Harry is on the road a lot, and I have my own business.

Wife wants family-- without the hubby
Dear Abby: My husband, "Harry," and I had a good marriage for 25 years, but we have grown apart and have agreed to divorce when our child finishes college. We just don't have a lot in common anymore. Harry is on the road a lot, and I have my own business.

Dear Abby advice for life Parents try to extort detailed accounting of wedding gifts
Dear Abby: Shortly before my wedding, I decided to have my teeth fixed. The dentist quoted me a price of $4,000, which my husband and I could not afford since we were paying for our entire wedding.

Parents' request is unreasonable
Dear Abby: Shortly before my wedding, I decided to have my teeth fixed. The dentist quoted me a price of $4,000, which my husband and I could not afford since we were paying for our entire wedding.

Dear Abby advice for life Man fears workman with key may not be on the up-and-up
Dear Abby: We had a repairman in our home yesterday who needed to leave to go to the hardware store for a part. My wife told him: "I have to go to pick up my son, so here's my spare key. Let yourself back in."

Dear Abby advice for life Diner resents getting the rush when server buses the tables
Dear Abby: When my partner and I eat at a restaurant, the server often clears my partner's plate before I am finished. I am not a slow eater, but I generally finish after she does.

Dear Abby advice for life Teenager is bewildered by parents' short fuses
Dear Abby: My parents just aren't "there" for me anymore. I need to be able to go to them for advice, but now I can't. They get mad when I ask them for help on anything. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I mean, I cook, clean, help around the house, but it doesn't seem to help.

Dear Abby advice for life Cash-strapped parents regret deathbed promise made to son
Dear Abby: My 31-year-old son, "Joey," who needs a heart transplant, almost died a few weeks ago. The doctors told us he wouldn't make it through the weekend. I was beside myself. On what we thought was his deathbed, I told Joey I would give him anything he wanted if he pulled through. He wanted a very expensive sports car.

Dear Abby advice for life Woman doubts she can help friend
Dear Abby: I am in my early 40s, and married with two daughters. I have a friend, "Sally," whom I have known since the third grade. We are like sisters.

In crisis, call therapist
Dear Abby: I am in my early 40s, and married with two daughters. I have a friend, "Sally," whom I have known since the third grade. We are like sisters.

Dear Abby advice for life Daughter despairs over angry fights with her mom
Dear Abby: I am a 16-year-old girl, and I fight with my mother almost daily. It makes me sad and upset all the time, and I don't know what to do. The last fight we had was over something so dumb I don't even know why I dragged it out for so long. I said things I didn't mean -- things that were hurtful and cruel.

Daughter regrets outburst
Dear Abby: I am a 16-year-old girl and I fight with my mother almost daily. It makes me sad and upset all the time, and I don't know what to do. The last fight we had was over something so dumb I don't even know why I dragged it out for so long. I said things that were hurtful and cruel.

Dear Abby advice for life Teen embarrassments turn into fond memories
Dear Abby: I had to respond to "Blushing in San Francisco" (Nov. 21), the 11-year-old girl who's embarrassed because her mother sings and dances in the mall. I was that mother a few years ago.

Dear Abby advice for life Mom's final wishes come with a threat
Dear Abby: My mother is a spry, 75-year-old woman who has expressed an unusual request. She has told us "kids" that when she is called by the angels, she wants to be dressed in an aqua nightgown or PJs, and to be lying on her side. She says she will be sleeping for a long time, and she wants to make sure she's comfortable. She also says if we don't carry out her wishes, she will come back and haunt us.

Honor mother's final wishes
Dear Abby: My mother is a spry, 75-year-old woman who has expressed an unusual request. She has told us "kids" that when she is called by the angels, she wants to be dressed in an aqua nightgown or PJs, and to be lying on her side. She says she will be sleeping for a long time, and she wants to make sure she's comfortable. She also says if we don't carry out her wishes, she will come back and haunt us.

Dear Abby advice for life Mom tries to make birthdays more meaningful
Dear Abby: I have chosen to celebrate my children's birthdays with family and one friend. I want my children to understand early on that birthdays are not about getting loads of gifts, but to celebrate life with family. We are invited to many parties for their friends and classmates, but I have always chosen to attend only those of our close friends.

Mom wants to instill meaning in gifts
Dear Abby: I have chosen to celebrate my children's birthdays with family and one friend. I want my children to understand early on that birthdays are not about getting loads of gifts, but to celebrate life with family. We are invited to many parties for their friends and classmates, but I have always chosen to attend only those of our close friends.

Dear Abby advice for life Chatty churchgoers disrupt sanctuary's air of reverence
Dear Abby: Last Sunday, I attended a church service, and the woman and her adult daughter seated behind me would not shut their mouths. All I could hear was the two of them catching up on the week's gossip. The 5-year-old granddaughter also talked the whole time.

Dear Abby advice for life Daughter rejoices in holiday miracle
Dear Abby: I wrote you in October and received your personal reply. I'm the girl whose dad was murdered, and I was looking for a support group. You referred me to the National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children, which provides mutual support to persons who have survived the violent death of someone close (www.pomc.org).

Dear Abby advice for life Men find plenty to love in big, beautiful women
Dear Abby: "Happy Being Me in Massachusetts" (Nov. 20) is a large girl whose mother told her "heavy women are not desirable." Well, I was a size 18/20 and weighed more than 200 pounds when I met my husband while out with mutual friends. He's good-looking, smart, witty, affectionate and passionate. He's everything a woman looks for in a life partner.

There's plenty to love in big women
Dear Abby: "Happy Being Me in Massachusetts" (Nov. 20) is a large girl whose mother told her "heavy women are not desirable." Well, I was a size 18/20 and weighed more than 200 pounds when I met my husband while out with mutual friends. He's good-looking, smart, witty, affectionate and passionate. He's everything a woman looks for in a life partner.

Dear Abby advice for life Patronizing professor needs a lesson in social graces
Dear Abby: I have always been a curious and motivated person. Because of it, I pursued higher education and became a college professor. Most of my siblings have also gone to college. However, their significant others have varying levels of education.

Dear Abby advice for life Boyfriend gives little comfort
Dear Abby : I rent my own apartment and my family lives an hour's drive away. My boyfriend of one year, "Mac," lives about 10 minutes from me and spends the night a few times a week and vice-versa.

Dear Abby advice for life Name-change ruse may help co-worker
Dear Abby: I have been working at my current job for a couple of years. One of my co-workers, who is in another department and who I see a couple of times a week, calls me "Sue." My name is "Joyce."

Dear Abby advice for life Woman mourns friends lost during affair with married man
Dear Abby: After an on-again off-again affair with a married man for almost 10 years, our relationship finally ended today.

Woman mourns friends lost during affair with married man
Dear Abby: After an on-again off-again affair with a married man for almost 10 years, our relationship finally ended.

Class reunion proves dicey for man regarding wife's past
Dear Abby: My wife, "Jana," and I have been married 15 years. She's the love of my life. I can't imagine living without her. We have three beautiful children, successful careers and a nice home. We have a great relationship, and I trust her completely.

Dear Abby advice for life Class reunion kindles man's obsession with wife's past
Dear Abby: My wife, "Jana," and I have been married 15 years. She's the love of my life. I can't imagine living without her. We have three beautiful children, successful careers and a nice home. We have a great relationship, and I trust her completely.

Dear Abby advice for life Vegetarian feels picked on for her choice of lifestyle
Dear Abby: I am 27 and have been a vegetarian for five years. I am trying to develop a thick skin when it comes to people who question or make fun of my choice, but I'm tired of laughing and letting the comments "roll off" my back.

Vegetarian is feeling picked on
Dear Abby: I am 27 and have been a vegetarian for five years. I am trying to develop a thick skin when it comes to people who question or make fun of my choice, but I'm tired of laughing and letting the comments "roll off" my back.

Dear Abby advice for life Parents fear son's pairing at college
Dear Abby: Our son, "Sam," is a senior in high school and has chosen a college that will suit his major. Now, all of a sudden, his girlfriend, "Amanda," has decided she wants to attend the same school. We'd like to discourage it because we know she's only going there to be close to our son. We feel she needs to get out on her own as much as Sam does.

Parents fear son's pairing at college
Dear Abby: Our son, "Sam," is a senior in high school and has chosen a college that will suit his major. Now, all of a sudden, his girlfriend, "Amanda," has decided she wants to attend the same school. We'd like to discourage it because we know she's only going there to be close to our son. We feel she needs to get out on her own as much as Sam does.

Dear Abby advice for life Harassment calls for action
Dear Abby: I'm at my wit's end at work. There's a woman in her early 30s here who is out of the closet and very vocal about being a butch lesbian. I'm straight, happily married and 20 years older than she is.

Harassment calls for action
Dear Abby: I'm at my wit's end at work. There's a woman in her early 30s here who is out of the closet, and very vocal about being a butch lesbian. I'm straight, happily married and 20 years older than she is.

Dear Abby advice for life Conclusion-jumping could land neighbor in hot water
Dear Abby: I'm writing about "Not Nosy, Just Concerned" (Nov. 13), the neighbor who suspects the woman she sees entering "John" and "Marcia's" house is having an affair with John while Marcia sleeps. There is another scenario to consider, and it is, perhaps, the biggest reason "Nosy" should keep hers out of it. It is entirely possible that Marcia is fully aware and willingly participating in the after-hours visits of the "tart."

Sisters' wedding pact fizzles
Dear Abby: When we were younger, my sister, "Patti," and I made a pact to be each other's maid of honor. It was Patti's suggestion, and we both thought I would marry my then-boyfriend. It didn't happen.

Sisters' wedding pact doesn't stand up
Dear Abby: When we were younger, my sister "Patti" and I made a pact to be each other's maid of honor. It was Patti's suggestion, and we both thought I would soon marry my then-boyfriend. It didn't happen.