Back to the home front More moms quitting jobs to rear kids

After 15 years as a paralegal, Kelly Howell was no housewife.

"I've never seen an episode of Oprah, and I've never eaten a bonbon," she declared.

When her first child was born, the Aurora mom took a quick, 10-week maternity leave then dropped her daughter at day care and cried all the way to the office. She told herself it was what any modern woman would do to make sure she didn't lose everything she'd worked for, just because she'd had a kid.

"I always identified myself as a working woman with a career and based all my value on the money I made," Howell said. "But when I went back to work after my first daughter was born it was just heartbreaking, and I no longer loved my job anymore."

When her daughter was 8 months old, Howell put away her business suit.

Five years later, the one-time steadfast career woman has three daughters and is a devoted stay-at-home mom.

Decades after the feminist movement sent unprecedented numbers of females climbing up career ladders, many local mothers say they're ready to step off the rungs.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the percentage of mothers in the work force climbed steadily from 1975 to the mid-1990s, shooting up from 47 to 70 percent nationwide.

But since 1997, the rate has wavered, and in 2005 it slid to a slight eight-year low. The decline is a negligible few percentage points, but might signal the end of a decades-long upward trend.

In 2000, the work-force participation rate of mothers with children under 18 reached a peak of nearly 73 percent. In 2005, the rate was 70.5 percent.

"I think my generation of women in their late 20s and early 30s see a lot of value in staying home and raising a family," said Oswego mom Jenny Pienkos. "For a while, there were people saying that 'I'm just a stay-at-home mom, and there isn't a lot of value in that,' but I think society is starting to realize how important it is."

Pienkos began working part time at her position at Old Second Bank in Aurora after her first child was born. After the birth of her second daughter, Pienkos quit the job and now stays home with her three children.

"They don't feel as much stress because I'm not stressed trying to do too many things," she said. "I can focus on one job instead of two."

Like many mothers, Pienkos said she may go back to work part time when her children grow older, but some women are staying out of the job market even as their kids reach their teens.

Pat Zander, an Oswego mom, quit her job five years ago to stay at home with her son and newborn daughter. Her son is now 15, and her 4-year-old is old enough to start preschool.

"But there are so many social and developmental issues," she said. "I still think it's important for (my son) that I'm home and that I'm here so that he has someone to talk to."

For many women who had spent years pushing their way through the glass ceiling, adjusting to a role at home has come with its own set of stresses.

"I felt funny living off my husband's salary, kind of like I was dead weight," Howell said.

For years, Lake Holiday mom Madelyn Erffmeyer was reluctant to give up her radio advertising sales position -- and the six-figure income that went with it. She went back to work when her son was 14 months old and missed every one of his preschool Christmas programs.

But after he turned 4 last year, and she'd had a particularly rough day at work, Erffmeyer decided "to put family first and give up that income."

"It was really scary," she said.

Because her husband owns his own business, her family lost all the health benefits she earned through her company and now pays thousands of dollars a year out-of-pocket in insurance costs.

"I haven't been really good with spending because I'm used to having my own income and used to spending it," Erffmeyer said. "So I'm really hoping I can curb my spending in order to continue to stay at home."

Many mothers also miss the workplace environment, where they could have frequent interaction with other adults.

"I miss working sometimes -- you get a lot of pats on the back and accolades," said Aurora mom Lynn Pekkarinen. "No one tells you, 'Thanks for making dinner, mom. You covered all the four food groups and we really appreciate it.' And being home, it's not a job where you can just fire them if they don't behave."

But local moms said they've learned to adjust by reworking the family budgets and reaching out to other women. Zanders heads a Mothers and More group in Oswego and Erffmeyer began a Mothers of Preschoolers club in Yorkville.

To them, the changes that came with leaving the workforce are just the challenges that come with any job.

"Something happens with stay-at-home moms," Erffmeyer said. "You quit working but you're up at all hours of the night because (your children's) needs are constant and immediate.

"But I think every working mom has a part of her that just wants to go to the library reading program, to go play at the park one day or make meals for her child."