The Mommy Debate
As Sarah Palin prepares to take centerstage against Joe Biden, local women weigh in on the age-old motherhood controversy
ELGIN -- Elda Sirridge likes Sarah Palin.
She thinks she "intelligent. She also thinks she's "extremely qualified" to be vice president of the United States.
(Marina Makropoulos/Staff Photographer)
(Marina Makropoulos/Staff Photographer)
Except for one very important factor.
"I think it is somewhat unfair to her baby to take on such a monumental task," said Sirridge, the mother of six children ages 1 through 15.
The Elgin mom's view has been criticized by other women as being "very sexist." Others have told her it's "unfair of me to raise it."
But Sirridge doesn't see it that way. Although she has never been political, Palin's candidacy is personal to her. While she's not against women having careers, she is convinced babies need their moms to be around them as much as possible -- especially a special-needs child like Palin's youngest son, Trig, who was born with Down syndrome.
Her friend doesn't agree.
"I don't think she should be judged on her family situation," said Anna Bicanic Moeller, an Elgin mother of two young children.
At the same time, Moeller does not think Palin has the experience to become president, which could happen. Nor does she see eye to eye with Palin and the Republican party on most issues.
Moeller does not feel Palin or the GOP stand up for issues women care about like education or health care.
The mother of two young children works part-time with no health benefits and "God forbid if something happens" to her husband, whose job provides health insurance for the family.
Palin "may be a mom and a working mom," said Moeller, "but if she does not address issues women care about, her gender doesn't really matter."
While Palin's nomination is historic and has the country buzzing as the first vice-presidential debate looms on Thursday, some Fox Valley women say this milestone is overshadowed by the reality that gender roles have not changed much, that working mothers continue to be scrutinized, and that the focus on Palin's gender is taking away from the issues in the race.
Gareth Sitz didn't work full-time for 10 years as a teacher while her three children were young because, unlike her own mom when she was growing up, she and her husband could afford that luxury. What this Elgin mom finds ironic is "the very women who would ordinarily say 'You must stay home with your children' are saying it is fine for her to be vice president."
While Sitz does not think the Alaskan governor should be judged by the fact she has young children, Sitz believes Palin would not be able to give her special child the attention he required should she be elected vice president.
But should any of this even matter?
Balancing act
Balancing family and a life of politics is a topic of discussion at the Springfield-based Illinois Women Institute of Leadership -- which was created after the 1999 Democratic National Convention to "encourage and train women to become effective leaders in Illinois government and politics," according to its Web site.
This balancing act is one of the premier concerns among the institute's students, said Barbara Brown, a board member and vice chair of the Democratic Party of Illinois.
Whatever choices women make, there is always the second guessing, she said. "Women who have chosen to pursue their careers doubt whether they did the right thing, and women who stayed at home wonder if they did the right thing. There are not any easy answers."
Brown encourages students to do a candidate inventory before deciding to run for office to determine how much help they will have with their children and how they will address family and professional needs. She understands why questions are being raised about Palin and her role as a mom.
"Quite frankly, in our country, we have these expectations of women that we don't have of men," Brown said. She ran for a downstate seat in 1996, and her opponent -- who waited until his children were grown to run for office -- brought up the fact she had three young teenagers.
State Rep. Linda Chapa LaVia made history seven years ago as the first Latina outside Chicago to be elected to the legislature. And yet, like Palin and Brown, questions were raised about whether LaVia could manage her office and family.
"Those questions will come up because of the bias in politics. We have to take that extra punch and suck it up," LaVia said.
LaVia has managed to balance both roles successfully with help from her husband, and by including her two young daughters in her work. She's even taken them to the legislative floor at times.
Women who chose to enter politics will always face that question, she said. But it should not deter them.
"It's a different touch when a female is involved in policy," LaVia said. "In general, we care about things that are motherly, like education and senior citizens issues. Men tend to focus on big business things that are less germane to women."
'Wrong conversation'
While there are plenty of feminist blog sites, emails and petitions circulating that criticize Palin's qualification and views, feminists have been careful not to bash Palin or motherhood, said Kirsten Myers, a sociology professor at Northern Illinois University, who has monitored such Web sites. "They are being really careful not to have a double standard because they don't want to seem anti-woman so they are having to find ways to articulate ways to disagree with her views."
Myers thinks "we are having the wrong conversations" about Palin's candidacy. Motherhood is not the issue, nor should it be raised in the campaign. Women have juggled family and work, in and out of the home, for years. Even if fathers want to co-parent, she said, society does not support that choice and men are often ridiculed for being a stay-at-home dad.
The conversation, she insisted, should shift to policies, like Palin's anti-birth control stance.
Mary Ann Wilkison, the village clerk in Burlington for 27 years, is still learning about Palin's views. She has been impressed by the candidate's speeches and her personality,
"I can't tell you how many women have come up to me and have been so enthusiastic and said 'I just love her," Wilkison said. But the fact that Palin is a woman is not a defining factor.
"I don't like to look at whether it's a woman or a man," said Wilkison, who herself was elected when her two sons were young. "I want whoever is going to do a good job for me."
