Release is no favor to wedding doves

April 28, 2008

Dear Abby: The wedding season is fast approaching, and every year, starry-eyed brides plan to release white doves to "freedom" as part of their wedding celebration.

Abby, when white doves, born and raised in captivity with no clue how to live on their own, are released to "freedom," they face certain death! Have you ever seen white doves flying about, nesting in the wild? No. That's because they cannot survive on their own.

Please spread the word that this awful practice needs to stop. A little education would go a long way. -- Someone Who Cares, Orangevale, Calif.

Dear Someone: Thank you for the heads-up. I discussed your comments with a docent at a local zoo, who explained that not only do doves raised in captivity know nothing about predators, being released into an unknown area disorients the poor creatures.

In order to survive, they would have to join with another flock -- and spreading their wings brings no guarantee they will be accepted. Dear Abby: My 14-year-old grandson was recently treated to an all-expense-paid vacation to visit his aunt and uncle in Washington, D.C. Because his family is struggling financially, I gave my grandson $50 to treat his hosts to dinner. He seemed excited about it and readily agreed that he would do it.

I found out inadvertently that he did not use the money as intended and, in fact, I don't know what he did with it. Should I confront him or let it go, since I know he didn't have much spending money? -- Grandma on a Limited Income

Dear Grandma: To ask your grandson what he did with the money does not need to be "confrontational." Simply tell him that you have learned that he didn't take his aunt and uncle out to dinner as planned. True, he may have spent the money on himself.

However, he may have offered and the offer was declined. Give him a chance to explain.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.