Republican fiction writers are waiting in the wings

Last week, the Beacon-News published a three-part series on the Viewpoint page by Republican State Sen. Chris Lauzen of the 25th District.

Some of Sen. Lauzen's past columns have been thought-provoking and, surprisingly, not entirely written along party lines. However, the three-part series was not in keeping with the senator's customary work.

Three articles, or if you like, 1,929 words, wherein without offering a single remedy, he manages to point fingers, or complain, about almost every problem facing this nation, including the mortgage crisis, Cash for Clunkers and even the H1NI virus.

Moreover, it is not often that you get three chances to strike a balance and to get it right. Now, to be fair, I do not know over what time span he wrote these columns. However, taken collectively or separately, Lauzen's lopsided logic might leave you lightheaded.

Even more astounding is that Sen. Lauzen pulled it off without a single mention of the eight years that George Bush occupied the White House.

It is an amazing literary feat, and to say that these essays are magical is an understatement.

Lauzen's prowess as a fiction writer comes through, as he masterfully implies, that it is only recently that this nation's economy has fallen into a shambles.

Imagine what he could have done with another thousand words.

A remarkable storyteller like Lauzen might have gone further, composing a purely fictional story, in which President Bush scolds executives from AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers about ethical standards and accountability to the American people.

With talent like this, mere minutes at the keyboard would produce example after example of what the Bush administration did over its eight-year reign to strengthen the country's financial stability and to prevent widespread economic catastrophe.

Only the most skilled writer could concoct the dramatic moment when Speaker Dennis Hastert, realizing that our economy is teetering at the precipice, recommends to the president a complete overhaul of governmental oversight of Wall Street.

Wait, wait, there's more. Seconds later, Vice President Dick Cheney stuns everyone by announcing that, for the sake of the country he loves, he is giving up his financial interest in Halliburton.

This is jaw-dropping, cutting-edge writing. I have no doubt that offers from the New York publishing houses would pour in.

However, if Sen. Lauzen is interested he needs to get busy, because the field is increasingly crowded. That's right, the Grand Ole Party is busting-at-the-seams with talented wordsmiths, eager to pen the ultimate fictional account of contemporary political history.

Anthony Stanford is a freelance writer living in Aurora. Contact him at bmhtales@sbcglobal.net