The family that serves together
Outside their home in Sandwich, Brian Coakley and his wife display a blue flag with three gray stars in vertical alignment. The flag is not large, but the meaning is significant. Each star represents a family member serving in the military.
Brian's family members in service are his brothers, Dan and Tim, and sister Linda. Dan spent 19 years in the military, and Tim and Linda each spent more than 20. Brian spent a month in the Navy before deciding it wasn't for him.
(Tyler Stoffel/For The Sun-Times Media)
Dan, Tim and Linda dedicated their lives to serving their country in the Navy. For the Coakleys, sacrificing for their country has come at the expense of the family. The four siblings gathered together for the first time in 18 years in the living room of Brian's home in late August. They talked extensively about their service to their country.
"All of those years of all those experiences for all three of them, and we're all here now," Brian said.
It was 1991, right after their mother passed away when they all saw each other last. Since then, at least one sibling has always been deployed, or something came up when they tried to make plans.
So they tried to make as much as possible out of their late August weekend together. For entertainment, they went to a car race in Joliet on Saturday and a Creed concert Sunday.
"We just try to pack as much in as possible," Tim said.
Dan lives in Aurora and Linda was previously in San Antonio, until recently being deployed. The siblings all grew up in Aurora and graduated from Aurora Central Catholic, except the youngest, Brian, who graduated from East Aurora High School.
Their father instilled the importance of military service, Brian and Tim said. He was a veteran of the Coast Guard and always watched military movies. It was the set of choices he gave his oldest Dan that began the siblings' trend of serving.
When Dan graduated from Aurora Central he could go to school and live at home rent free; get a job and pay rent; or talk to a recruiter. At the age of 19 Dan made his choice. He became a 19-year-old sailor living in Hawaii.
Dan left the military for a period of time as he grew older. He had thoughts of serving again after the terrorist attacks in 2001, but did not think the Navy would take him back. In 2003 it did, and he served in the Seabees, a Navy unit that goes into both friendly and hostile zones for combat and construction projects. He spent some time in Iraq in 2006, just before President George Bush's surge of troops.
Dan's military service was not always easy. Improvised Explosive Devices were a problem in Iraq. Two comrades lost their lives when they hit an IED. The fear remained throughout his deployment. Dan talked about not wanting to hit an IED on his son's birthday.
"I just didn't want him to remember his birthday in such a horrible way," he said.
Then it happened. Dan grinned telling the story in Brian's living room, because it was not a direct hit, and they were lucky, he said.
Dan's brother Tim started as a medic and developed into one of the leading experts on blast injuries. He also spent time in Iraq backing up combat soldiers, being ready to medivac or treat any of the soldiers on the front line.
"I always dreaded the situation if we were backing up Dan's unit," he said. "That's hard. Very hard."
The Navy sends Tim various places around the world to lecture about blast injuries. He gave a lecture in the same Russian hall where Lenin spoke. He also gave a lecture in the heart of the Amazon.
"I've been sent to some real wild places," he said.
Tim helped to develop some of the technology currently used in the field today, including the body armor worn in combat and ultrasounds.
"Combat technology and medical technology is just something I enjoy," he said. "It helps the guys out."
It is their sister Linda who received the most recent set of orders. She is currently in Fort Dix, N.J., ready to go to the Republic of Djibouti, off the Horn of Africa, in December. Linda is a Master at Arms, which is the Navy version of military police.
The Master at Arms is also charged with protecting high-profile officers and any politicians or celebrities visiting a Navy base. She has been in the military for about 25 years. While she's been gone, her brother Brian is making his commitment.
Brian agreed to take in her three children, in addition to the four of his own. They are enrolled in school, and two more bedrooms were prepared in the basement of the home. Despite the full house, there was never any question that this commitment would be made for family and for country.
"That kind of commitment is just as important as being on the warfront," Dan said.
Brian said he has a lot of help with the children. The Navy calls once a month, asking if he needs anything.
"It's like a boarding house," he said. "We're just trying to pull together."
While Brian wanted to share a deeper common experience with his siblings, he pointed out that he would not have met his wife or have the job that he has today if he were a career Navy man. He is also continuously writing and talking on the phone with his siblings and checking on how they are doing.
"I live my Navy life through the three of them," he said.
Though Dan, Tim and Linda's experiences are similar, they are still different. They were together for a brief period at a Florida base in 1986, but their Navy service took each of them down a separate path.
The family that serves together retires together. Each of them will retire at some point in 2010. They are hoping that they will see more of each other after that.
